We Take Concepts

And Turn Them
Into
 Successful

Companies

Society Says We Are Unemployable Misfits

SO WE SAY, SCREW SOCIETY AND WHAT IT HAS TO SAY! 

 

At Professional Idiots, our work philosophy is simple: Let people be whom they want to be. Too many corporate environments take the creativity out of work and thus the fire out of their employees. They make you stand in a production line and play by their corporate rules.

At Professional Idiots, we want everyone to be creative and express themselves how they see fit. This means dressing how they want, speaking what's on their mind, and developing their own processes that work for them to get the job done. Are you inked up?  good, we want you to show off your tatts.  Are you gay or lesbian?  Good, come work for us, and fly your colors proudly. Are you transgender?  Amazing awesome, come work for us. This is what separates us from corporate America, and why we succeed in our own niche.  We want what society calls unemployable misfits.

Jonas Brown
Chief Idiot 
Professional Idiots

Do You Have What It Takes to be a Professional Idiot?

Well, let's see, extra points to anyone who can say any of the following applies to you:

(If you can say yes to any of the above, then we want you on our team for sure!)


Take Note:

We are looking to only work with the bomb-diggity. Someone that learns from us as much as we learn from them. Someone we will be proud to say is a part of our family and will play a large role in pushing Professional Idiots forward. If you are not this person, please consider another position.


I am your homey, what next?  Click here to see our current openings.


At Professional Idiots we:
 

  • Are 50% remote, work from multiple time zones

  • Use GitHub, Trello, Basecamp, Slack, and Sneek to collaborate

  • Are community-driven

  • Work both hard and smart

  • You are left-handed. And right-handed.

  • You taught a German Shepard to bark in French.

  • Mosquitoes refuse to bite you purely out of respect.

  • You taught Chuck Norris martial arts.

  • You have won the lifetime achievement award… twice.

  • You gave your father "the talk".

  • You once brought a knife to a gunfight...just to even the odds.

  • Sharks have a week dedicated to you.

  • You live vicariously through yourself.

  • If opportunity knocks, and you're not at home, opportunity waits.

OUR TEAM

 

DMITRY MOROZHNIKOV

Database Administrator  "The Russian Mobster"
I am a database guru, I can optimize the shit out of any database.  I'm based out of Russia and in my spare time I try to hack into the FBI's website to remove my wanted poster.

DMITRY KOVAL

Chief Programmer "The Mad Ukrainian"
I was hired to code shit.   I code best when in the middle of the night when the freaks come out.  I live in Vorzel and I am a true idiot!

Mr. Binary Code
Security Researcher  "The Hacker"

I'm a badass ethical hacker, I was contracted to keep the site safe from bad hackers. I am in the hacker hall of fame from Google, HackerOne, PayPal, and many more. 

Surbhi Bhatnagar

CPA "The Sexy Accountant"
My job is to keep the spending under control.  I have to say sorry boys, no new drones this month.  They really hate me and I am surprised I still have a job, to be honest.

JAMIE WRIGHT

Company Attorney  "The Ball Buster"
It's my job to keep these idiots out of prison.  With the games these guys play at work and at home, it's a full-time job, ugh.  Would someone please change my title.

JONAS BROWN

Fish Tank Maintenance Guy and everything else.
 

I have been told I am the biggest idiot of them all.  I run shit here and make sure these other idiots stay legit.  We once tried to hire an H/R consultant firm, but we fired them the following week.  We hate rules. 


We are a group of people who don't like being controlled and we are seeking to bring on open-minded people who are idiots as much as we are. If you get offended easily, then this company will not work for you.
 

We have no dress code, you can work in jeans, shorts, your pajamas, braless or nothing at all. :-)

 

We let our employees play music at work and bring their dogs to work. We drink red bull by day and beer by night.   We get off at 5 but happy hour starts at 4, (massive conflict) so to fix that, we now honor happy during work. 
 

Anyone who has ever worked for me has said it was the best job they ever had. All I ask of you is to take care of the company, and in exchange, the company will take care of you

 

Our company is employee-owned, meaning each one of our employees is shareholders in the company and has a say in the direction of the company.

FYI:  Sex in the bathroom with your fellow coworkers is no longer allowed at this time until further notice.

 

Some of our Other Idiots

 

Professional Idiots, Inc.
 

834 S Perry St Suite F #634
Castle Rock, CO 80104-1918

Phone 303 777 5400

 

If you have a question or comment regarding Professional Idiots or one of our companies, please get in touch. Since we generate ideas internally, we do not accept submissions of business plans.

Copyright 2020 Professional Idiots, Inc.  All rights reserved.